Singer Robbie Williams has shared how badly his life "spiralled out of control so severely" at the height of his fame in a brand new Netflix documentary.
In the four-part special titled 'Robbie Williams: Raw. Honest. Real', the 'Take That' singer reveals he became so reliant on alcohol and drugs in order to cope with the boyband's popularity.
“I was ingesting everything I could get my hands on – ecstasy, cocaine, drinking. I’m literally drinking like a bottle of vodka a night before going into rehearsals, so that’s happening every night,” the singer shares in the doco, released this month.
“We are looking at somebody in freefall, addicted to cocaine and alcohol. It’s impossible to help myself, it’s impossible to stop.”
The singer, who eventually left the boy group in 1995, was forced into rehab by his manager who saw Robbie constantly "hungover."
“Everybody knew I was in trouble, but they didn’t care, I’d gone past the point of no return,” he said. “My life had spiralled out of control so severely that my manager understood what needed to happen, I needed to be carted off to rehab.”
“I used to drink and do drugs because it helped me not feel this way, when you strip that away all the everything comes up that you’ve been suppressing and I’ve been suppressing that for years. I’m depressed and I’m mentally ill.”
The singer discovered in his 20s that he suffered from depression, and shared he struggled with life in the spotlight.
“I had to go on stage in front of thousands of people feeling like you’re on the hundredth floor, the room’s burning and you either stay in the room or burn to death or you jump out of the window to your death. It’s that uncomfortable."
Robbie also admitted his strained relationship with Take That bandmate Gary Barlow came from jealousy.
“I disliked Gary the most because he was the one that was supposed to have everything and the career and I wanted to make him pay. I was vengeful,” he admits.
“It seemed to be one person managing Take That and it was Gary Barlow – it was all geared around him. And as a young person I would have been jealous of that. A lot of me resented him. I was going home from those days thinking this is weird and uncomfortable. It’s Lord of the Flies stuff.”
The 'Angels' singer has since apologised to his former bandmate, who doesn't appear in the Netflix series.
'Robbie Williams: Raw. Honest. Real' is available now on Netflix. Watch the trailer for the docuseries above.