TW: This story contains details of baby loss and miscarriage.
Kiwi broadcaster Hayley Holt has vulnerably shared the story of her grief during the “darkest time” of her life - when she lost her son Frankie during late pregnancy in 2020.
Hayley discusses her tragic loss in depth with Sunday's Miriama Kamo and openly shares her road to motherhood with her son Raven - who was born last year.
At age 39, Hayley decided she was ready to have a baby, telling Miriama she had tried going about things by dating to find a potential suitor.
However, Hayley believes “the timing was terrible” and gave up on the dating scene.
That’s when her friend Josh Tito, offered to help. Despite not being a couple at the time, Josh agreed to co-parent their little boy.
As the pregnancy progressed, the pair looked forward to Frankie’s birth, but an unexpected issue during a 20-week scan hinted at some health issues for the baby.
Hayley explained: "The lady doing the scan sort of went a bit quiet. And I'm like, 'oh what's happening?' And she was just umm-ing and aah-ing and she goes, 'this measurement here was possibly just right on the edge of being a little bit too large'.”
AND JUST AT THAT MOMENT My HEART WENT 'GADONK', AND I THOUGHT, OH MY GOD, I FELT LIKE I KNEW THIS WAS COMING.
At the time, Covid lockdowns were in full force, and Hayley had to face further scans alone.
More tests had been run but came back inconclusive. Both Hayley and Josh tried to remain optimistic that their baby would survive.
During this time the couple’s friendship had turned into a love story, thanks to the large amounts of time spent together during the pandemic and the growing bond of caring for their unborn child.
However, at 29 weeks, Hayley was given the devastating news that Frankie had died in the womb.
Hayley said: "I was devastated. This boy that I was willing to live, and willing to get better, and willing to be healthy, had died."
IT WAS HEARTBREAKING…
Hayley delves deeper into her journey to motherhood in her book ‘Second Chances’ set for release in April.