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Kiwi poet shares hilarious, wonderful & relatable poem about 'oldies' during COVID-19
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Kiwi poet shares hilarious, wonderful & relatable poem about 'oldies' during COVID-19

Love this poem!

Last week we published a poem that we believed to be written by famous British poet Pam Ayres. Thanks to some fabulous Kiwis, we have realised that we credited the wrong poet!

The Coronavirus poem is actually written by New Zealander Jan Beaumont. Pam Ayres even addressed it in a tweet earlier this year.

Enjoy Jan's brilliant poem below.

JAN BEAUMONT – Poem about the coronavirus

I’m normally a social girl
I love to meet my mates
But lately with the virus here
We can’t go out the gates.

You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now
We need to stay inside
If they haven’t seen us for a while
They’ll think we’ve upped and died.

They’ll never know the things we did
Before we got this old
There wasn’t any FaceBook
So not everything was told.

We may seem sweet old ladies
Who would never be uncouth,
But we grew up in the 60s –
If you only knew the truth!

There was sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll
The pill and miniskirts
We smoked, we drank, we partied
And were quite outrageous flirts.

Then we settled down, got married
And turned into someone’s mum,
Somebody’s wife, then nana,
Who on earth did we become?

We didn’t mind the change of pace
Because our lives were full
But to bury us before we’re dead
Is like red rag to a bull!

So here you find me stuck inside
For 4 weeks, maybe more
I finally found myself again
Then I had to close the door!

It didn’t really bother me
I’d while away the hour
I’d bake for all the family
But I’ve got no flaming flour!

Now Netflix is just wonderful
I like a gutsy thriller
I’m swooning over Idris
Or some random sexy killer.

At least I’ve got a stash of booze
For when I’m being idle
There’s wine and whisky, even gin
If I’m feeling suicidal!

So, let’s all drink to lockdown
To recovery and health
And hope this awful virus
Doesn’t decimate our wealth.

We’ll all get through the crisis
And be back to join or mates
Just hoping I’m not far too wide
To fit through the flaming gates!

- Jan Beaumont. Source.

You can see more of Jan Beaumont's incredible poetry at her website.