Jools Oliver, wife of celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, has publically revealed that she recently suffered a miscarriage and reflected on her "five little stars in the sky" of which she had lost during her twenty year marriage to Jamie.
Speaking on the Made By Mammas podcast, host Zoe Hardman noted that Jools - who shares kids Poppy, 18, Daisy, 17, Petal, 11, Buddy, 9, and River, 3, with Jamie - had been 'pining for a sixth child' before her 47th birthday next year.
Jools then admitted: "I really do, I really do but I've just had three miscarriages since then and I'm thinking… and a recent one three weeks ago and I'm thinking: 'No,' I dunno. I do want to, but I've got to mentally check that it's a good idea to do."
"And also physically because I am 45 as I always say, nearly 46. So it's a little bit dodgy."
Jools continued: "Jamie is still up for it, kind of… not really. I haven't got long, maybe another year and then I really will just shut that chapter off because I am very happy and I am pretty full up at the moment as it is."
"But just that little baby, it's a terrible thing to keep wanting something and you can't help it."
Jools went onto reveal: "I went to see the doctor the other day and he said, 'How are you mentally?' and I thought about it and I went: 'Well, this is the fifth one now,' I had two before River, and they've been early ones, the last two have been at 6 ½ weeks."
"So I just feel... I'm really good at going 'Right, I'm pregnant but it won't work so I'm just going to carry on,' whilst everyone gets really into it and I have really learnt to not because I'm kind of not very positive about it."
Jools also admitted she didn't tell her mum about her most recent miscarriage, saying: "I did have a pretty dangerous one, I think it was my second one which was really dangerous for myself so my family don't want me to do it again."
"They think 'You've got five, you've got healthy children, just be grateful.'"
"I understand because my life is more important so I sometimes may not tell the sisters because I don't want to hurt their feelings, I'd rather just not say because they'll be worried about me specially during lockdown..."
"Telling my mum, well, especially because I couldn't see her, would have really upset her so I kept that quiet. She knows now, but, you know…at the time I didn't tell her."